Public Transportation (when I was originally writing this title, I accidentally left out the L in public....)

I feel like a terrible person, I haven't written forever...... Well, nobody is perfect. Its funny, cuz when you separate that word, nobody, into two words, that phrase becomes totally false: No body is perfect. So untrue, my body is most definitely perfect.

So, I don't have a car. I'm in the market for one right now, but really, I have like no money and unfortunately cars tend to be on the expensive side... So for the last ten months or so I've had to rely on public transportation. Thats right, the big PT. PT isn't too bad, its cheap, it gets you where you want to go, or at least within three miles of where you want to go.... You get a lot of great exercise! Walking to the bus station, walking four blocks to get to where you actually need to go, then walking back to the bus station, and back to your apartment. Not to mention that sometimes the actual bus ride can be a workout....

Theres no more seats left and you have to hold onto that dinky little gray strap that is probably covered in germs and diseases ranging from scarlet fever to the black plague, but you gotta hold onto it. So you do, but I really don't know what purpose it serves, cuz really, it gives you absolutely no support, and your body still goes flying around at every turn the bus driver makes! Thats when you get your exercise of course, trying to stay standing up, and not go flying into the old lady on your left, or the rather attractive gentleman on your right, or the big windshield in front of you.... And you have to stay standing as nonchalant as possible, you don't want to embarrass yourself by flailing your arms around, or pulling strange faces as you try to keep your balance, or worst of all scream, but you don't want people to see how much trouble you're really having staying balanced. To solve this problem you engage your core muscles. After a long thirty minute bus ride through the city your abs will be screaming from you standing up straight! Trying to stand up straight on a city bus is much more challenging than trying to stand up straight on those lame balance boards they have at your gym, trust me the bus works you a lot more. I attribute my perfect abdominal muscles to standing on my city's buses for the last ten months.

Theres one other thing about public transportation that gives me a workout. You know when you're walking up to the bus stop, and you just see the bus waiting there? Well, I don't know about you, but I immediately start to panic. According to my watch, there is two minutes left till the bus leaves, but you don't know if the drivers watch is set to the same time as yours. He could be gearing up and getting ready to leave in about five seconds! So, I am faced with a very difficult decision. I could either A) just play it safe and continue walking casually to the bus and hope that it doesn't suddenly leave, or B) I could sprint as fast as I can to the bus, arms full of groceries, with my overstuffed backpack and too-tight pants on, and probably make it on the bus before it leaves. Well, some people will say "play it safe RUN!" but you gotta realize that if I do choose to run to the bus, and it doesn't end up leaving for another two minutes, I just have to sit on the bus awkwardly, knowing that everyone probably saw my mad (and unnecessary) dash to the bus. Embarrassing. And then, even if I do make a crazy run for the bus, and just as I'm about to climb on the bus driver shuts the door, thats even worse! That means i just made myself look like an idiot for nothing! So 9 times out of 10 I choose option A, walking calmly and casually towards the bus. That way, if I do make it to the bus before it leaves, everyone on the bus immediately thinks I'm super cool, since it seemed as if I just knew that the bus would not leave without me. And even if the bus does drive away as I'm walking towards it, I can just do a little fake-out and instead pretend that my true intention was to cross the street, not catch that bus that only comes once every two hours..... Reputation and pride remain intact.

Of course, because of my effort to seem super cool and casual, I usually end up wasting a lot of time sitting at bus stations. So, I actually have a solution to this problem. I propose that public buses begin to put countdown timers on the sides, front, and back of the bus. This way, when you come walking up to a bus, and you see that the timer still says two minutes, you can preserve your dignity and simply walk to the doors. And then if you walk up and see that the timer is counting down from ten seconds, you know its time to throw your pride aside and make a mad dash to the doors. I feel as if adding these simple timers to our city buses would actually help bring about world peace.